Love and Heartbreak.
Don’t we ultimately crave to love and to be loved? No matter how much we deny it, everything we do boils down to the need for love and appreciation. It’s the second nature to every human. However, everybody perceives love in different ways. Everyone has different expectations from love. When we have expectations from our parents, our friends, even teachers against out love, it is natural that we invest a lot of expectations in the romantic love.
In the modern world, most people go through the familiar few stages of their idea of love. They meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love. Sometimes, they get their happily ever after, but many times they don’t. What happens if they don’t? What happens after they don’t get the returns on the self-investment they made, depends on how much they invested themselves. How much emotionally and physically involved they were in the bond they shared with that other person. Our feelings after a heartbreak also depend on the maturity in dealing with feelings of hurt, despair and sometimes even worthlessness.
Breakups or their emotional equivalents are quite hard, as any person who’s been through them would know. The course of action that follows after a heartbreak can be responsible in shaping what kind of a personal life you’ll have. It is important to move on, but it is much more important to choose the right path. Always bear in mind, the right path is different for everybody, but the end goal is the same: hold onto the good influence, lessons and experiences you had with the person, letting go of the rest. It is okay to love, to hope and have your heart broken. It happens to everyone. It is okay to be hurt. Actually, it is not okay to not to be heartbroken and hurt even once in your lives.
However, when you deal with a heartbreak it doesn’t mean it is okay every time to give up on what you believed in, especially if what you believed in was right. To change the way you felt about everything else that was important to you because of this loss is giving up on your beliefs because of something which was not meant to be. It is definitely not okay to compromise on your self-worth or go out of your way in compromising your morals to make someone stay or to move on.
The hardest part of moving on is the acceptance. Often people are unable to accept that something so seemingly perfect has come to an end. The keyword here is ‘seemingly’. The word broken indicates that either the thing was not strong enough or the blow was strong enough that it couldn’t last.
Today, we have a wide array of opportunities to meet new people, which has opened up new avenues for all kinds of relationships. Technology has made dating in the modern world a lot more convenient, but finding true love has gotten as much harder. Superficial factors like beauty, money and online fame have gained more importance over real factors like character, understanding, compatibility and so on. The hookup culture has become so predominant, finding love has become that much harder. I’m not here to shame people who believe in the hookup culture, but often they tire of it. Ultimately, they crave for something real, to curl up in the arms of someone who loves them unconditionally but sometimes it is too late.
Life is too short to settle for anything that you aren’t passionate about. If you have loved and lost, be thankful for the fact that you have loved, because there are people incapable of it. As for loving again…Wait. Wait for love to find you instead of going out to look for it. Often love happens when you least expect it.
Meanwhile, keep fulfilling the other promises that you made to your life which were as important to you too. You may never know, on what way to which destination the right person awaits and you might miss the way because you were mourning the loss to something that wasn’t meant to be.
Written by: Achala Balgi
Edited by: Lipi Gupta