In the modern social networking era, we are often posed with a question, ‘What’s your status?’ by which, one practically means that if we are single or in a relationship. Though relationships are of many types, but nowadays it is singled out to one particular thing, ‘the love life’. In India especially, from joint families to nuclear families, we’ve come a long way.
As kids, we have heard many times our parents about their childhood memories and one aspect is common amongst their generation. A big family of fifteen to twenty people of three generations, living and cooking together under one roof even with fewer facilities. Of course, joint families exist even now, but they are countable in numbers. And dare I say they too are on the verge of extinction sooner or later.
Also, a frequent word pops up quite commonly, especially in metro and big cities. The concept of ‘Living together’ without any actual societal commitment. Look at it this way, the concept is living together but hardly it is about living together. But in a way, it has become like an experimentally living as a married couple before the commitment even begins. It sounds a bit weird, but the truth is bitter and so is the reality. Two people, especially at their young age, come together and live and sleep under one roof, just to understand each other’s compatibility. Many times, they feel their compatibility is less than what they desire and they move away. It sounds very practical, but when there is no commitment and pressure, the force behind keeping a thing going on decreases.
Earlier, being married means you had to spend your life together. But today the scenario has bounced nearly 150 degrees and today being in a loosely committed relationship has become a better option. Which in turn made way to anti-Indian Culture practices like open relationships, hook up culture, Tinder generation.
Here come two aspects of it:
Firstly, we were programmed to have an active sex life very young in age to continue the sustenance of the population. This was one of the basic instincts that every animal was imbibed with. But our minds and psychology has grown past it. So when we are in loosely committed relationships at a young age, we don’t tend to take it seriously. Instantly gratifying the physical needs, we compromise with our psychological development. Later, when we come to a mature age, we have had all the un-tended relationship drama that it boils down the whole scenario as unwanted. If we were in a more committed relationship, knowing that it was for the future, we have tended it better. Yet again, it leaves us grasping at the wrong straws in both age groups.
Secondly, a developed psychological status of our brain had taken us on to a direction where many phenomena became necessary for us. Phenomena like monogamy, intellect, and development. However, the loose commitments that we bind ourselves to, have taken us in the reverse direction yet again. This hinders the progressive distance we took and takes us back to following the basic instinct like animals.
Here, we are not trying to say that marriages are races and need to be run completely till the finish line. But the basis of abandoning a marriage shouldn’t be as small and as trivial as there are to abandon the loosely committed relationships. We have come a strong way of keeping our mind before our body, going back will be negative progress that humans do not need in life.
In many ways, our generation’s journey has become a glorified, well explained, and unpredicted mess at every stage and we find it difficult to steer for a smooth journey. We believe if the journey is smoother, there exists a problem and if there are obstacles and difficulties in relationships, then only the journey is going on smoothly.
The crux of a relationship and its actual meaning is to bring everyone together. Often we label ourselves as ‘Taken or committed’ if we are in a relationship with someone or in love with or marrying someone or we are simply tagged as ‘single’. But following into a wrong label just to avoid the other one is the mistake we keep on doing and quite frankly, feel proud of.
In the end, it is just one thing that we need to remember, Relationship Status on social media may control the likes, comments, and shares, but the real hashtags of life are the ones that are spent with the right person, and like hashtags, they don’t need to be thirty to have a complete impact.
Written by: Ramachandra R Koppar
Cowritten at a secondary ca[pacity by: Lipi Gupta